Still Grrr

What? (A Story in Cairns, Australia)

“- so I said to the guy, ‘mate, what do you want with that jumper? Looks like a ute ran over it!’ And he says to me, ‘My gal wanted me to look proper for the when the rellies come over.’ And then I said to him, ‘Mate, with a jumper like that your lucky you already married ‘er!” The strange girl at the tourist stand in Cairns laughed over the phone. Buffy looked at Willow, inching away from the odd girl on the phone.

“Uh, did you get much of that?”

Willow shook her head. “Something about a jumper and a mate?(1) Whats that?”

Giles cleared his throat. “Don’t worry, I’ll sort this out.” He went over to the tourist guides desk. “Excuse me marm, do you happen to have any maps of the area?”

The girls grin got even larger. “Hang on a sec Peggy, I’ve got a customer.” She put the phone down and grinned. “Welcome to Cairns Tourist Information, how can I help you?”

“Well I require a map of the area, and –“

“A Pom! Oh lordy, are you lot with the Barmy Army? I thought those gals sounded like Yanks, but you never know. Oh, we kicked your ass this year! Saw a few of the Army headin’ out to the reef after the last Test, is that where you wanna go?”

Giles blushed slightly and again cleared his throat. “I must admit Australia played well, and they deserved the Ashes(2) this year. Now can I perhaps get a map?”

The girl ducked behind the counter, still talking. “Well I’ve got some for Mareeba, a ton for Port Douglas and a pile for the city.” The maps came shooting out from under the desk as she named each. Her head popped up again. “Have ya got a car mate?”

“What did she just call him?” Buffy asked Willow.

Willow shrugged. “We should have bought Xander. He’s watched Crocodile Dundee.”

Giles was still at the desk deciphering the girls fast directions. “Now ya take a left a Maccas, and a right when you hit dip and dots. That’l get you to the library. I think they have the records ya want there.” She smiled pleasantly at him.

Pushing his glasses back up his nose, Giles gave her a nervous smile. “Yes, well thank you for the help. Have a nice day.”

“You to mate! Better luck in the Ashes next year!” She waved at them as they went out.

Buffy looked at Giles. “What’s the Ashes?”

Giles shook his head. “Nothing important. Now where is this Maccas…” Giles headed down the street.

Willow looked at Buffy. “What’s a Maccas?”(3)

The End

(1) Jumper is a cardigan. Mate is the Australian form of dude and friend wrapped into 1.
(2) The Ashes are a series of cricket games played between Australia and England. Australia won this year. The Barmy Army are the English supporters.
(3) Maccas is the Australian abbreviation for McDonalds.